One Reason To Care Less

Oct 03, 2022

Hey everyone,

Next week CG members will be in La Jolla for the fall meetings, and, for part of that, we’ll be doing a Care More/Care Less exercise (part of the Positive Politics toolkit).

We all tend to care more about the things that we cannot control, and, at the same time, care less about the things we can impact.

This 2,000+ year insight from Stoicism has ongoing relevance.

Today, for example, I opened the WSJ and found this: Cargo Shipowners Cancel Sailings as Global Trade Flips From Backlogs to Empty Containers. The article goes on to say that trans-pacific shipping rates have dropped by more than 75% and many retailers have too much – not too little – inventory.

One year ago, however, there were massive backlogs at the ports, retailers were paying 5-10x more to ship containers, and yet they were still short many of the goods they wanted to sell. 

If you were worried last year about the supply chain, this year you can be worried about a pending recession.

But how about worry less about these meta issues, and more about what you can do to improve your company, your products, and your career?

In other words, what positive action can you take?

If you have budget cuts, and have to do the hard thing of laying someone else off, then  first know you are not responsible for the Fed raising interest rates. 

Second, take action and give them additional support beyond whatever your company does (i.e., send them to our community – a place with a heart and home for all people who have been laid off or let go).

Or, if someone is getting in your way, focus less on them and more on the people helping you (even as you figure out how to move around the blockers).

Or, if you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.

This came up again for me yesterday.

The fabulous Allison Mnookin (of the famous Mnookin Two-Pager from the book) hosted a book launch brunch in Boston for me and 50 wonderful guests. 

It was a terrific party with wonderful catering (Crème Brûlée French Toast, anyone?).

Several people who had helped with the book spoke about the power of the approach. 

Everyone seemed energized by what we are doing to build community with a heart and a home for those laid off or let go.

Yet, I made a mistake that I later obsessed over. 

I had promised a dear friend I would come to a future event only to realize later on the cab to the airport that I wouldn’t be in town. I felt bad about that.

As a result, I focused on that, rather than the totality of the day. 

Fortunately, I caught myself and asked for help. A friend helped me care more about all that went well – and all the work yet to be done – and to drop my guilt about my mistake. In fact, guilt prevents learning from the mistake as well as gets in the way of doing all of the work needed to keep building this community. 

And if what I’ve said isn’t enough, then let me offer one reason to learn to care less now: more than ever, your teams and customers need the best from you.

These are difficult winds we are sailing into. 

So, let go of all you cannot change, and give your best to whatever and whomever you can impact.



P.S. As noted above, Never Search Alone and the community I’m building around it is going well. More below.

The book

– Great news: Never Search Alone continues to be #1 in key categories on Amazon *and* the hardcover is finally available for Prime next day delivery.

The Open Houses on LinkedIn Live

– Last Friday, we had a bi-weekly open house on LinkedIn Live. You MUST watch it. A VP of Product shared a difficult story of how a Big Tech company made her a verbal offer and then withdrew it. She was devastated, but she slacked her Job Search Council and right away they responded with immense love and support. They washed away her insecurity and anxiety, improved her confidence and helped her get right back out there. You gotta watch it and see how open and vulnerable and giving she is with all of us about this difficult yet powerful experience.

– Further, if you missed my Launch Party on LinkedIn Live, then watch it. Nine CEOs, SVPs, VPs, Individual Contributors talk about how they did not search alone and the big impact that had. “Amazing”, “Kinetic”, “Inspiring” – just some of what people said to me about this. 

– The next Job Seeker Open House
Fri, Oct 14 (bi-weekly on Fridays at 4pm ET)
4pm ET
Come one, come all – tell all your friends who have been laid off, let go, or are otherwise looking.

Book Parties

We’ve had two wonderful book parties in the last week: Manhattan and Boston. 

Big thanks to my two hosts – Allison Mnookin and Brent Tworetzky – and all the wonderful guests. 

If you want to host a book party at your home, if you provide your home (or office), the food and drink (and it doesn’t have to be much), and invite a group of 30, 50 or more, then I’ll travel to you.

Note: I know lots of people all over the country, so I can add names to your invite list.

If you want to explore this, get in touch.

Note: we can also explore a zoom party.

Job Search Councils

– Job Search Council Orientation
Thu, Oct 6 (and bi-weekly after that)
7pm ET
This is for everyone who has signed up to join a Job Search Council or is thinking of doing so.


– SaaS Scaled
Planned for early November.

– Never Search Alone and Find the Job You Love
LinkedIn Product Management Learning Series (hosted by LinkedIn)
November 18, 2022
12pm ET

– Future of Retail (recorded and available)
Phyl Terry revolutionizes the executive job search with his new book “Never Search Alone”

– Local Maximum (recorded and available)
Phyl Terry: Never Search Alone

Note: if you are a podcaster, or know a podcaster – then I’d be happy to be on your show to help spread the word.

Tools of the Never Search Alone community

  • Free job search council placement and support 
    Volunteers are now donating time to help place job seekers in Job Search Councils. They are also helping to train the job seekers who volunteer to moderate each JSC.
  • Free tools and templates
    We have free tools and templates vetted and used by many job seekers and volunteers donating time and expertise to constantly update and expand this library.
  • LinkedIn support group
    We have started a support group on LinkedIn for all job seekers. Volunteers are helping to welcome new members, moderate the community, and promote participation.
  • Bi-weekly open houses 
    We are running bi-weekly open houses to support job seekers and build community and support. Volunteers are helping to program and promote these sessions.
  • Monitoring layoffs and reaching out to companies/people
    Volunteers are reaching out to companies and individuals who have been laid off — offering our *free* resources and community to help them.

Do you (or someone you know) need help? 

Please come home to this community with a heart that we are building to support people just like you.

And, separately, if you want to help, then reach out. 

Together let’s help the millions of job seekers who today (and tomorrow) will need our support to never search alone.

About the Author

Phyl Terry

Phyl Terry, Founder and CEO of Collaborative Gain, Inc., launched the company’s flagship leadership program – The Councils – in 2002 with a fellow group of Internet pioneers from Amazon, Google, and others. Thousands of leaders from the Internet world have come together in the last 15 years to learn the art of asking for help and to support each other to build better, more customer-centric products, services, and companies.

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